


be brave

by Idnis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Awkwardness, Boys In Love, Deamus, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Yule Ball, but angst too because I cannot physically write purely fluff or something, i mean loads of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-02-06 01:29:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12806625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idnis/pseuds/Idnis
Summary: The Yule Ball was to Dean Thomas, fourth year Gryffindor, an opportunity given to him to finallyfinallyask Seamus Finnigan out.





	be brave

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> *waves  
> So I low-key shipped Seamus/Dean, until I wrote this story.  
> And now I am hardcore shipping this.  
> Help.
> 
> Enjoy the story!

There had been talk about the ball before it was officially announced.  
  
Dean had known,  
because he’d been asked to make posters for all the common rooms that would announce the date and rules of the Yule Ball.  
  
Any chance at showcasing his art was one he gladly took, because making a career in art sounded as difficult as it was unlikely, and he wanted to make the most of every opportunity given to him.  
  
Which was what the Yule Ball was to Dean Thomas, fourth year Gryffindor.  
An opportunity given to him,  
to finally,  
_finally  
_ ask Seamus Finnigan out.  
  
❆  
  
It was during breakfast that Dean tried to make it a conversational topic.

‘So… What do you think about the Yule Ball?’ he asked, not specifically to Seamus, but if he looked longer at Seamus while asking, well.  
That had always been the way.  
  
‘I don’t know,’ Ron muttered, looking tired about the whole idea. ‘Do we have to, you know, dance?’  
  
‘Probably,’ Hermione answered without looking up from her book.  
  
‘I wouldn’t really mind that,’ Neville said quietly.  
  
Dean agreed. ‘I think I wouldn’t either.’  
  
As was usually the case,  
and especially this year after the whole drama with Harry’s name popping up from the Goblet of Fire,  
Harry was staring absent-mindedly into space while eating his piece of toast, too lost in thought to contribute to the conversation.

It was not usually the case however, that Seamus was also quiet in a conversation.  
Even at breakfast, he was always energetic.  
  
Dean nudged Seamus softly. ‘You awake?’

‘Yeah.’ Seamus smiled reassuringly at him. ‘Just been thinking.’

‘Oh no,’ Dean teased. ‘Be careful.’

Laughing out loud, Seamus nudged him not so softly back before continuing to devour his bacon.

While Dean was dying to know what Seamus had been thinking about _—_ and normally he would’ve just asked _—_ for some reason he didn’t want to attract more attention to the Yule Ball than would be considered normal.

With clammy hands, he picked up his goblet and threw back his orange juice.

❆

The next evening, it was the topic of conversation again.  
  
‘I don’t have time to think about the ball when I need to be prepared to die. I haven’t even figured out what the egg does, Ron.’

‘I’m just saying, mate. Who’d you want to take?’

Harry sighed deeply. ‘I dunno. Can’t I just take you?’

Everyone sitting near the fireplace laughed.  
  
Though he was also laughing, Dean still squirmed in his seat.

Were they laughing because it was obvious Harry had meant it as a joke?  
Or were they laughing because the idea of two friends going together was funny?  
No,  
two boys,  
Dean immediately corrected himself.  
  
There was no way he wanted to ask Seamus to the ball as a friend.

So far no one in their year was anything other than straight.  
Well, Dean wasn’t.  
But he hadn’t talked about it yet.  
  
At first it hadn’t been an important issue or anything, and Dean hadn’t seen the need to randomly bring it up.

But then he found himself  
lingering  
dreaming  
thinking,  
and he couldn’t deny anymore that he was extremely in love with his best friend.  
  
The crisis had hit him in second year.  
And the subject of his not being straight became a bit more  
awkward.

Because all of sudden there was fear.  
What if Seamus didn’t return his feelings  
or worse,  
what if these feelings would ruin their friendship?

After two years of pining after Seamus,  
three if you counted oblivious Dean during his first year,  
Dean decided it was maybe time to be a bit more Gryffindor.  
A bit braver.

‘It’s what I would do,’ Dean laughed, looking at Seamus.

It’s what I’m _going_ to do, he added in his mind.

‘No way, mate,’ Seamus laughed. ‘Don’t talk shite. You’re definitely going to get a date.’

Dean hoped it was a promise.

❆

Seamus was already lying in bed by the time Dean got out of the shower.  
  
With just a towel around his waist, he ran towards the bedroom to quickly grab his clothes.  
  
‘Forgot to take them with me,’ he said, hopping on the cold tiles beneath his feet as he searched through his trunk for a fresh shirt.  
  
‘Woah. Mate, you’re getting fit,’ Seamus said, causing Dean to have a near heart-attack.  
  
‘Thanks,’ he replied, looking up to find Seamus staring in awe at him. ‘I’ve been working out more this summer.’

‘I can tell. You trying out for Quidditch this year?’

Dean shrugged, trying to appear casual  
though he was dancing with joy inside that Seamus had noticed.

‘Maybe.’

‘I should’ve done some training too,’ Seamus sighed. ‘You look amazing.’

Red blossomed on Dean’s cheeks  
and before he could blush all the way to his neck,  
he grabbed the first shirt he could find and hurried back to the bathroom, where it was still pleasantly warm.  
  
Pausing in front of one of the fogged up mirrors,  
Dean wiped away the condensation and looked at himself.

‘ _You look amazing_.’  
  
It was an honest compliment,  
but it didn’t mean what Dean wanted it to mean.

Seamus had always been like that.

❆  
  
‘I cannot believe Lockhart,’ Seamus laughed, stretched out on his bed. ‘Sending valentines through dwarves.’

‘I’d be incredibly uncomfortable if I got a valentine’s message,’ Neville frowned. ‘With everyone staring at you.’  
  
‘But what about the romance, Neville?’ Dean laughed.

Neville hugged his pillow closer to his chest. ‘I don’t know if a grumpy dwarf is the most romantic gesture,’ he mumbled.  
  
‘True,’ Seamus said. ‘But I don’t know. I guess it would be kinda nice to get one, you know? Nice to know someone likes your face and all that.’  
  
Dean perked up.

Well if that was the case.  
Might as well use the given opportunity, right?

‘I’m sure someone will send you a dwarf,’ Dean said, thinking,  
_and that someone will be me_.

‘Ha, easy enough for you to say,’ Seamus said. ‘You’re lovely.’

All of Dean’s thoughts seemed to stop.  
In fact,  
it was like his whole brain seemed to stop, period.

A blush quickly spread across his cheeks,  
and Dean had to stop himself from grinning like a madman.  
  
‘Yeah, right,’ he replied.

❆

‘Dean! Dean! Would you believe it?’  
  
Seamus came running towards him in the common room, so Dean immediately pulled up his legs to make room for Seamus on the couch.

‘I got a valentine message just now!’

Dean’s heart started pounding harder in his chest  
and his hands were getting clammy, so he put his pencil and sketch book down.

‘Of course you did,’ he said. ‘How was it?’

Leaning on Dean’s raised knees,  
Seamus’ cheeks were red from excitement, and his hazel eyes looked bright.

‘Course I don’t know who sent it, but I reckon she must be very sweet and creative and all that.’

Dean’s heart  
sank  
at the word  
_girl_.  
  
It was like working on a drawing for a very long time,  
putting in all his effort and time  
only to knock over the glass of water on the table.  
  
At least it had been good practice,  
right?

Dean forced a smile on his face. ‘That’s great. But why do you think so?’

‘She’d written this poem, and it was so. Dunno. ‘Twas something like: if you don’t know who to be with tod _—_ ’

‘Oh, sorry, I just remembered I have to write to my mum,’ Dean suddenly interrupted, feeling his cheeks heat up at hearing the words he’d written.  
  
It was one thing to try and write a valentine’s poem,  
it was another to hear it from the person who it had been for.

Seamus leaned back, letting go of Dean’s knees,  
so Dean immediately stood up, stuffing his sketch book inside his bag.

‘Mate,’ Seamus said uncertainly, tugging on his sleeve to get his attention. ‘Did you no get a valentine?’

Dean shrugged,  
trying to go for casual,  
but his heart was still aching from the sort of rejection.

‘No, but that’s okay. I did send one.’

He’d taken two steps towards the portrait before Seamus said, ‘Wait, what? Who? Who did you send one to?’

Dean looked over his shoulder and grinned at Seamus,  
who was looking at him with big eyes.

‘Wouldn’t you like to know?’

Crawling through the portrait,  
Dean could hear Seamus behind him calling after him.

‘Mate! No fair!’

A genuine smile made its way on his face.

 _If you don’t know who to be with today  
_ _my advice would be not to search so far away._ _  
_ _  
_ ❆

McGonagall had collected everyone together in an empty room of the castle.  
  
The Gryffindors took their seats while curiously watching Filch fiddle with a gramophone.  
Dean suspected what this was going to be about.

‘No,’ McGonagall quickly told Hermione who was following Harry and Ron. ‘Ladies to the left, boys to the right.’

 ‘Sit here?’ Seamus asked Dean, nudging him with his arm.

Dean nodded, and took his place beside Seamus while the rest of the Gryffindors also took their seats,  
and then McGonagall gestured for them to be silent.

‘The Yule ball,’ she began. ‘Is a traditional part of the Triwizard Tournament and an opportunity for us to socialise with our foreign guests. I will be most displeased if a Gryffindor student embarrasses the school in any way.’

She looked sternly around the room,  
and Dean saw from the corner of his eye a few boys slide down on their seats, avoiding McGonagall's eyes.  
  
‘I expect each and everyone of you to put your best foot forward. And I mean this literally because the Yule ball is, first and foremost… a dance.’

Of course Dean already knew this,  
but to hear McGonagall announce it suddenly made it all the more real,  
and yet again, he felt his hands starting to get clammy as he thought about  
dancing  
with Seamus.

He’d have to ask him first though.

‘And inside every boy a lordly lion prepared to prance,’ McGonagall continued her speech, ignoring Dean’s inner monologue, then turned towards _—_ ‘Mister Weasley. Will you join me please?’

Beside him, Seamus started shaking quietly with laughter as Ron looked like he was about to die from mortification.  
  
There was no saying no to McGonagall however.

‘Imagine your first dance being with McGonagall,’ Seamus whispered in his ear as they both watched Ron’s awkward attempt at dancing.

Dean laughed behind his hand and turned his head towards Seamus.

There was a big smile on Seamus’ face as well as he whispered, ‘I imagine we can do better than that.’

Suddenly  
Dean’s laughter died out,  
and his eyes widened.

Did Seamus mean...?

They were close,  
they had to be in order to whisper,  
and the proximity made Dean’s heart beat wildly in his chest.

He wanted this so badly.

‘Course we can,’ he whispered back.

Was this  
it?

Had he just solidified his date?

But Seamus’ smile was insistent as he said,  
‘Nice to know though, that McGonagall could be our back up if we can’t get dates.’

Some part of Dean  
wanted to lean in and kiss the smile off of Seamus’ face.  
Kiss the horrible words out of his mouth.

He didn’t however.

He leaned back,  
and nodded, laughing weakly at Seamus’ joke.

After that,  
it wasn’t so funny to watch Ron dance anymore.  
  
❆  
  
‘So, who are you going to take?’ Ginny asked him while they were walking towards the quidditch pitch to practice.

Dean shrugged,  
keeping his eyes on the ground.

Ginny gave him a slight shove. ‘Come on, tell me.’

‘Be glad you’re not expected to go,’ Dean muttered. ‘Saves a lot of stress.’

‘Yeah, but I want to go,’ Ginny pouted. ‘Can’t you take me?’

Ah.  
There it was.  
An opportunity.  
  
No, an excuse to not ask Seamus out,  
to keep carrying his secret with him.

A chance to not endanger their friendship by making things unnecessarily complicated.  
A chance to not know how it felt to dance together with Seamus,  
a chance to not hold hands as they swirled across the dance floor.

‘No,’ Dean sighed. ‘I kind of want to ask someone else.’

Ginny ‘ _oooh_ ed’ at him, but luckily didn’t press him to tell who.

Only after they were done practicing and walking back towards the castle, did she say quietly, ‘It sucks, doesn’t it?’

‘Hmm?’

‘Being so hopelessly in love you can’t even think about dancing with someone else.’

Dean looked at her in shock.

Ginny gave him a sad smile,  
reaching out and squeezing his hand.

‘It’s okay,’ she said softly, reminding him suddenly of a similar situation,  
years ago.  
  
But.  
  
Was it?  
Dean wondered.  
He’d never told anybody.  
He wasn’t even sure Ginny knew _who_ he wanted to ask.  
  
But she knew there was someone,  
and that alone was a scary thought.

Dean squeezed her hand too.

‘I hope it will be,’ he said.

❆  
  
Around him, students were gasping,  
some even started to cry  
as they all read the words  
‘ _Mudbloods beware._ ’

The sudden terrible thought echoed through his mind  
that what if  
what if the heir of Slytherin thought _Dean_ was muggleborn?  
  
He’d never really talked about his home situation,  
though his mother was pretty sure his father had been a wizard.  
In retrospect that is.

‘Oh no,’ he whispered, reading the message over  
and over  
and over  
again.  
  
Suddenly a warm hand slid in his,  
squeezing his hand.

Dean looked at Seamus beside him,  
who looked determined  
and so very brave  
as he said,  
‘It’s okay.’

‘But they don’t know I’m not muggleborn,’ Dean said, voice trembling. ‘I don’t even know if I’m not, Seamus.’

‘Doesn’t matter,’ Seamus said, still sounding so confident. ‘The heir of Slytherin will have a horrible time trying to get past me, you know.’

Despite his fear, Dean still had to smile. ‘I’m not sure you’re up for battling the heir of Slytherin.’  
  
‘Oh, yeah?’ Seamus pretended to be super shocked. ‘I’ll just blow that manky lad to pieces.’

Dean’s smile spread. ‘You don’t even know it’s a boy.’

‘But I do know he’s never getting near you.’  
  
Dean squeezed Seamus’ hand too.

‘I hope you’re right.’  
  
❆  
  
It was a crisp winter morning when Dean walked towards Hagrid’s hut, his breath fogging up in front of him.  
He should’ve taken a scarf, he thought a bit absent-mindedly as he neared the fenced off area behind Hagrid’s hut.  
  
Standing inside the fenced off area and wearing huge leather gloves, Seamus was currently doing his best to feed the blast-ended Skrewts without losing his legs.

At the sight of Seamus,  
Dean’s hands started to get clammy as he thought about what he’d set out to do.  
  
Which was getting frustrating.  
Every moment alone with Seamus turned into an opportunity to ask him to the Yule ball.  
  
But he couldn’t get the words out,  
choking every time a silence fell between them.

‘Hey,’ he announced his presence, leaning cautiously against the fence. From up close he could see black smudges on Seamus’ pale, freckly face.  
It was a normal sight.

‘Hey, how are you?’ Seamus asked while carefully maneuvering himself around the skrewts.  
  
‘Training with Ginny this morning. Was alright. She’s a brilliant flier though.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah. I think she’s going to be a pro someday.’

‘Cool. Did you ask her?’

The question was casually thrown his way,  
but it still surprised Dean.

It was the first time Seamus had breached the Yule ball topic when it was just the two of them.

Still, just to be sure, Dean asked, ‘Ask her what?’

‘Don’t be thick,’ Seamus said, dumping an indiscernible heap of food in one of the Skrewt’s bowls. Three immediately started fighting for who got the biggest share. ‘Yeah, yeah, I’ll fill the next bowls too,’ Seamus muttered.

‘Um,’ Dean coughed awkwardly. ‘No, I haven’t.’

‘Why not?’ Seamus asked, still looking at the ground while he trudged to another bowl. ‘I reckon she fancies you.’

Dean had no clue what to say  
aside from  
_Because I want to take you_.

He didn’t of course,  
because his hands were getting all clammy again  
and nerves coursed wildly through his veins,  
making him jump when a Skrewt blasted a few sparks from its rear.

Dean opened his mouth, ready to form the words,  
ready to _—_ nope.  
Nope, nope, nope,  
definitely not ready.

‘How about you?’ Dean pathetically evaded the question.

Seamus didn’t call him out on it however. ‘Uh,’ he said, having finished dumping the last of the food into the bowls and making his way back to the fence. ‘Been thinking about asking Lavender, maybe.’

‘Oh,’ Dean said.

‘Yeah.’

Seamus tried to climb over the fence, but his huge leather boots were making it more difficult, so Dean grasped his elbow to help him.  
Except it caused Seamus to nearly lose his balance,  
and the thought of falling amidst the crawling Skrewts had Seamus yelling, ‘Grab both of my arms!’

Using all of his hard earned muscles, Dean put his hands beneath Seamus’ armpits and lifted him up enough for Seamus to swing his legs over the fence and land safely on the other side.

Dean grunted from the sudden intense lifting,  
and rolled his arms and shoulders to stretch his muscles.  
  
‘Thanks mate,’ Seamus said. ‘You never know if they’re wanting Irish on their menus.’

Dean laughed as he looked down at Seamus’ carefree smile.  
When they were standing so close, the height difference was all the more obvious.  
  
‘Good thing you’ve been working out,’ Seamus said, lightly shoving Dean and not moving him in the slightest.  
  
‘Yeah, I had a feeling I was going to need them to rescue you from overgrown, fire spewing crabs.’

Seamus shuddered. ‘Mate, don’t even start.’

And just like that  
all talk about the Yule ball was forgotten.

As they were walking back towards the castle, Dean couldn’t help but feel that maybe,  
maybe it would just be for the best.  
  
Rubbing his cold hands together to get the blood flowing again,  
Dean thought it would probably be a fun night.  
  
He’d sort of made peace with the fact that he would take Ginny,  
and Seamus would take Lavender  
and they’d dance with their dates, and maybe jump up and down together for a song or two  
and that’d be the end of it.  
  
Also,  
he should’ve taken gloves, Dean thought belatedly, as he tried in vain to warm up his hands by breathing on them.

‘Mate.’

Dean looked over at Seamus, who was properly wrapped up in scarves and gloves and a fluffy woolly hat.  
But before he could ask _what_ ,  
Seamus had already reached out and grabbed his hand with his warm, woolly one.

‘Should’ve taken gloves,’ Seamus said.  
  
And Dean was amazed that he’d still heard him over the sound of his  
wildly  
beating  
heart.

‘Yeah,’ he said, looking down at their intertwined hands. ‘Thanks.’

‘No problem. You can thank me with a butterbeer tomorrow,’ Seamus grinned.

Hogsmeade.

‘Sure,’ Dean smiled back, cautiously looking into Seamus’ eyes, searching for something,  
something that told him this was maybe  
_more  
_ more than just best mates being helpful.

They walked the remainder of the road to Hogwarts talking about school, their classes and their teachers.  
  
It was almost perfectly normal.  
Almost.

Dean squeezed Seamus’ hand softly,  
feeling himself ache with want.  
Wanting this  
to mean what he wanted it to mean.

If anything, it made him realize that he couldn’t be satisfied without having at least  
tried  
to ask Seamus out.  
  
Call it selfish,  
but no way did he want to share the incredible feeling of holding Seamus’ hand with anyone.  
  
Seamus squeezed his hand back.

❆

‘D’you think this ball can predict our futures?’ Seamus asked, peering into the glass ball in the middle of their table.

‘I doubt it,’ Dean replied, flicking through his divination book, searching for the chapter about tea leaves.

‘Yeah, you’re probably right,’ Seamus said, nearly pressing his face against the glass. ‘Cause all I can see is your face, mate.’

Dean laughed,  
while his heart did its normal jump inside his chest,  
thinking  
if only.

‘How do you like the fishbowl look on me?’ he grinned at Seamus.

‘Huh? You don’t look weird.’

Dean pretended to be offended. ‘And I thought you were my friend.’  
  
‘No, no, mate,’ Seamus said, squeezing one of his eyes shut like it would make him see better. ‘You’re-’

‘Start drinking your tea now, young ones,’ Professor Trelawny's fragile voice told the class. ‘Let us explore our futures through the magnificent tea leaves.’

Seamus leaned back,  
frowning down at their glass ball, so Dean kicked him softly.

‘Come on, let’s drink some tea to get a good grade.’

Immediately, Seamus’ cheerful grin was back. ‘D’you think your future would be best expressed with earl grey, or maybe green tea?’

Muffling his loud laugh behind his hand,  
Dean felt truly and horribly  
in love  
with Seamus.

❆  
  
‘D’you want earl grey or green tea?’ Seamus asked him, standing up to take their orders at the bar in the Three Broomsticks.

It always made Dean’s heart swell whenever Seamus acted so friendly,  
so properly.  
Like how he maybe would act if this was  
a date.

Dean quickly got rid of the thought as he felt his cheeks start to heat up. ‘Green tea, but I’ll get this one,’ he offered, standing up as well. ‘I promised you a butterbeer, didn’t I?’  
  
Seamus blinked,  
then shrugged and sat down again.

‘Sure, I’ll be right down here.’

When Dean returned with their orders, he found that Seamus wasn’t alone anymore.

Ginny was sitting next to Dean’s empty chair.  
  
‘Hey Ginny,’ Dean said as he put the drinks on the table. ‘Didn’t know you were here. Can I get you anything?’

Ginny smiled. ‘Aren’t you the gentleman? Sure, I’ll take a butterbeer too.’

But before Dean could walk away again, Seamus beat him to it. ‘Nah, it’s okay, mate. You already went and got ours.’

Dean frowned and wanted to say that it wasn’t a big deal, but Seamus was already gone.

He sat down and turned towards Ginny.   
  
‘So how are you?’

‘Alright. And you?’

‘Couldn’t be better,’ Dean said, which was maybe a slight exaggeration.

Ginny’s eyed him knowingly, resting her head on her hand as she said, ‘Well. Unless you count the ever growing fear-’

Seamus returned,  
putting Ginny’s butterbeer in front of her.

‘Thanks,’ she smiled and took a sip.

‘Sorry if I interrupted. Go on,’ Seamus said.

‘Well,’ Ginny repeated. ‘Unless you count my every growing fear of not getting asked to the Yule ball, everything’s fine.’

Oh boy.  
Dean coughed awkwardly,  
already feeling his hands getting clammy.

‘What?’ Seamus asked, surprised. ‘Lovely lass like you hasn’t been asked yet?’

Ginny shook her head sadly. ‘I will be horribly alone and miss out on this great adventure.’

‘Adventure?’ Dean asked, starting to suspect there was a reason Ginny was behaving the way she did.

‘Yeah,’ Ginny leaned closer to him. ‘Love is all about being brave, doing things you’re scared to do.’

Dean tried to avoid her piercing, accusatory gaze,  
shifting nervously in his seat.

‘O-oh,’ he nodded weakly.

‘So who are you going to ask, Dean?’

‘Ummm,’ Dean said, voice shooting up, while he send Seamus a look that clearly said ‘help me’.  
Seamus was observing them quietly however, sipping his butterbeer.

‘Did you have someone in mind?’  
  
‘I-I’m not sure,’ Dean said, tugging on his tie, feeling incredibly warm all of a sudden. He knew that Ginny was trying to make him confess before it was too late,  
but he wasn’t going to-  
with Seamus next to them.  
  
‘Hey Seamus, Dean,’ Neville suddenly called out to them, walking towards their table. ‘Oh, hi Ginny.’

To Dean’s relief, Ginny leaned back to greet him,  
and he told himself he should thank Neville later.  
  
‘Have you got any plans for today?’ Neville asked.

‘Yeah,’ Dean said, standing up abruptly. ‘We’re getting new gloves.’  
  
‘Both of you?’ Ginny asked skeptically, looking at Seamus’ gloves lying on the table.

Dean cringed  
and decided to just pretend they weren’t there.  
  
‘Yes.’  

It took Seamus a few seconds,  
a few awkward seconds where Dean was the only one standing,  
before he got the hint and then he was also grabbing his things.

‘See you later, guys!’ Seamus waved them goodbye.  
  
Outside, Dean ignored the weird look Seamus was giving him,  
but his best friend wasn’t one for quietly letting things go.

‘What was that about?’  
  
‘Um,’ Dean said awkwardly. ‘I just didn’t want to talk with Ginny about the Yule ball.’

‘Cause you want to ask her?’

Another sharp stab in his heart,  
about the fact that Seamus seemed to so casually accept this.

Dean suddenly turned towards Seamus  
and said,  
‘No.’

Seamus’ eyebrows raised in surprise. ‘You’re not? Why not?’

Taking all the courage he’d had in his body,  
Dean said steadily,  
‘I want to take someone else.’

They’d started walking slower,  
but now Seamus actually stopped.  
  
There was a serious look in his eyes,  
and it made Dean nervous.

‘Mate, I get that this stuff is very awkward and all that, but you can tell me, you know?’

‘I know,’ Dean said quietly, feeling extremely guilty for keeping Seamus in the dark.  
This was exactly what he’d been afraid of.  
His crush ruining their friendship.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I’ll tell you sometime, okay?’

And just like that,  
Seamus’ bright smile was back.

Dean wondered what he’d done to deserve such a bright and trusting friend.

‘Oh, there’s the clothing shop,’ Seamus pointed.

Dean rubbed his cold hands together. ‘You don’t have to buy some too.’

‘No, I know,’ Seamus smiled, already walking towards the shop.

They browsed through the racks of knitted winter wear, until they found two pair of dark brown gloves  
with red and brown stripey fingers.

Seamus picked them up. ‘Oh, these are grand!’

‘Yeah, they’re cool.’

‘Let’s buy ‘em.’

‘You know you don’t ha _—_ ’ Dean started, but Seamus immediately shushed him, grabbing both pair and rushing towards the till.

‘And you don’t have to buy them for me!’ Dean exclaimed, running after him, but he was too late.

‘Too bad,’ Seamus said. ‘If you don’t want them, I’ll give ‘em to someone else.’

Dean immediately grabbed the gloves and put them on. ‘No, I want them.’

Seamus smiled as he changed his own for the brown and stripey ones too.

‘We match.’

Dean nodded,  
feeling his heart swell in his chest.

He sure thought they did.  
He thought they matched perfectly.  
  
❆

‘We’ve got to get some dates, mate,’ Ron mumbled quietly to Harry.  
  
Seeing as everyone was trying to fall asleep,  
his words weren’t particularly quiet in their silent bedroom.

‘I know,’ Harry whispered back. ‘But I don’t know how. They always seem to travel in packs.’

‘Yeah, yeah. And besides, what are you even supposed to say?’

‘I think you’re just supposed to ask them,’ Neville whispered back.

‘Well, have _you_ found a date then?’ Ron asked.

‘No,’ Neville mumbled. ‘But I’m going to ask her tomorrow if that’s alright with you and Dean.’

Huh?

‘Alright with me?’ Dean asked, also whispering,  
but  
‘Guys, I’m awake,’ Seamus said out loud.

‘Sorry,’ Ron muttered.

‘No, you’re fine,’ Seamus said, and Dean could hear that he was smiling. ‘But do tell, Neville. Who’re you gonna ask?’

Neville didn’t immediately answer,  
which suddenly clued Dean in on who.  
  
‘I was thinking about asking Ginny,’ Neville eventually mumbled.

Dean could hear Ron sit up in bed. ‘What? She’s way too young.’

‘She’s one year younger,’ Dean argued.

‘So? She’s supposed to be in bed by ten or something.’

Seamus laughed. ‘What are you, her mother?’

‘I’m okay with it, Neville,’ Dean said.

‘Well, I’m-’ Ron started, but Harry cut him off.  
  
‘He’s okay with it too.’

‘You don’t know if Ginny’s okay with it!’ Ron exclaimed.

‘No, that’s why I’m asking her,’ Neville replied. ‘She can always say no.’

The way he phrased it  
like it was no big deal if she did say no,  
was like a wake up call to Dean.

Maybe it wasn’t a big deal.

Maybe it was just a matter of  
_yeah_  
or  
_no, mate, sorry._  
  
‘Who are you asking, Seamus?’ Ron asked.

‘Been thinking about asking Lavender.’

‘Oh, good call. When?’

‘Mmm,’ Seamus hummed. ‘Maybe tomorrow or something?’

Dean’s heart dropped.  
Time  
had officially  
run out.

‘Is Lavender the one with the straight brown hair?’ Harry asked.

‘Nah, she has curls,’ Seamus said.

‘Oh.’ Harry sounded like he still had no clue who she was.  
  
Dean could imagine it must be hard sometimes, to pay attention to normal school life when every year so far has been extremely stressful and hectic for Harry.

‘She’s good-looking though,’ Ron said.

‘Yeah,’ Seamus agreed.

Closing his eyes,  
Dean allowed himself to feel miserable for a while.  
Then shoved all of the sad thoughts away.  
  
They quickly made room for his ever growing anxiety.

Tomorrow.  
He had to ask Seamus to the Yule ball tomorrow.

❆  
  
Looking around the round dormitory,  
with its red velvet curtains  
and plush beds with very fluffy looking pillows,  
Dean concluded that a magic boarding school might not be so bad.

The boys who were in his year, and who he was going to be spending seven years with, were looking around the room for their trunks.  
  
Dean hadn’t really spoken to a lot of them yet,  
though he recognized Neville.  
The boy who had been looking for his toad.

‘Harry, this is your trunk,’ a red haired boy named Ron pointed at the bed closest to the door.  
  
The boy who everyone apparently already seemed to know said,  
‘Thanks Ron.’  
and plopped down on his bed, looking at the curtains in awe.  
  
‘Um, I reckon this is your bed,’ someone said to Dean’s right.  
  
A small boy with sandy coloured hair and loads of freckles was sitting on top of,  
Dean leaned down,  
yeah, on top of his trunk.

He held out his hand.  
‘I’m _—_ ’

‘Dean Thomas, yeah?’ The guy enthusiastically shook his hand. ‘I’m Seamus Finnigan. Lying in the bed next to you.’

Dean nodded, feeling a little awkward standing in front of his bed, with Seamus still sitting on _his_ trunk.  
  
It was even more awkward because Seamus was smiling brightly at him,  
like he was waiting for Dean to do  
well, what exactly?

Eventually,  
Dean just awkwardly shuffled to Seamus’ trunk and sat down on it.

It seemed to be the correct move,  
because Seamus turned towards him, moving his legs so he was sitting cross-legged on Dean’s trunk.

‘So?’ Seamus asked, still smiling like Dean was his new best friend. ‘Can you already do magic?’

‘Um, no, sorry. I never knew magic existed until I got the owl,’ Dean admitted.

Seamus tilted his head to the side,  
observing Dean with excited hazel eyes.

‘Really? So you no have a favourite quidditch team?’

Dean blinked. ‘What’s quidditch?’  
  
‘Mate!’ Seamus looked affronted, jumping to his feet and shushing Dean off his trunk. ‘Would you look at this!’  
  
Shirts and pants and socks flew around Dean as Seamus searched through his trunk.  
Eventually he emerged with a magazine that had moving pictures of people on brooms.  
It was all very magical.

‘I like football though,’ Dean said quietly.  
  
Seamus looked curiously at him. ‘What’s that?’  
  
Now it was Dean’s turn to search through his trunk, carefully setting aside his pencil case and his sketchbook, rummaging through his clothes until he found a poster of West Ham United.  
  
He proudly showed it to Seamus,  
who blinked a few times in surprise.  
  
‘It’s not moving.’

‘Yeah, no,’ Dean trailed off awkwardly. ‘They don’t… um, they don’t do that.’

That seemed to be ridiculous to Seamus.

‘But it’s a sport!’

‘No, no,’ Dean laughed. ‘They move in real life.’

Seamus eyed his poster skeptically, then bent down and picked up his sketch book. ‘And this?’  
  
‘Oh,’ Dean felt his cheeks turn red and his hands get clammy. He didn’t know if art was cool among wizards. ‘It’s just my sketchbook,’ he said quietly.

‘Can I flip through it?’ Seamus asked politely.

Dean looked at him in surprise. ‘Sure.’

Not knowing what else to do, he watched Seamus’ face while he flipped through his sketch book.

He really did have a lot of freckles, Dean thought. But it suited it him. Like he was always outside, in the sun.  
  
Sunny, Dean observed, would probably be a good description of Seamus’ personality.

‘These are really good, mate,’ Seamus said, smiling brightly at Dean, who immediately flushed again.

‘Do you think I can make my art move like the pictures?’ Dean asked curiously.  
  
‘Sure!’ Seamus beamed at him. ‘That’d be cool. But…’ He looked down at the sketches again. ‘I think they’re grand the way they are.’

Dean didn’t know what to say to that, his heart pounding in his chest, so he awkwardly looked to the side.

‘Oh, sorry,’ Seamus apologised, handing him his sketchbook. ‘Didn’t mean to say something wrong.’

Dean took it back.

‘You didn’t.’

‘Sure?’

Dean nodded. ‘I just didn’t know if wizards thought art was, you know, cool.’

‘Oh. Well, I don’t know about every wizard, but I think you’re very cool.’  
  
Dean looked up in surprise, and saw Seamus still smiling cheerfully at him  
like they were already the best of friends.

Dean had a feeling it wouldn’t take them long  
to be just that.

❆

‘I’m cool,’ Dean quietly told his reflection that morning.  
  
The rest was still sleeping,  
but Dean couldn’t any more, too restless about today.  
  
Today.

Nerves were already making his hands shake,  
and Seamus wasn’t even awake ye _—_

‘What’re you doing?’ Seamus asked, rubbing in his eyes as he walked into the bathroom.  
It was as if Dean had acciod him.

‘Telling myself I’m cool,’ Dean sighed.

Seamus laughed. ‘I think you’re cool.’

‘I know,’ Dean said, looking at Seamus in the mirror. ‘I’m sort of counting on it.’

Yawning loudly, which shouldn’t look as adorable as it did, Seamus asked, ‘Wha?’  
  
‘Nothing.’

❆  
  
During transfiguration, which was normally a class Dean was a very eager participant in, he found his mind drifting constantly.

Beside him, Seamus was trying hard to keep up, scribbling notes furiously.  
Dean drew a mini version of himself on his parchment and spelled it so it would walk over to Seamus’ paper.

He saw Seamus pause, looking at the little drawn Dean as it waved at him and held up his thumb.  
  
Looking up, Seamus grinned at him.  
  
Dean felt his heart clench with fear.

Would he lose all this?  
  
❆

‘I can’t,’ Dean said, during Ginny and his’ private flying practice.  
  
‘What?’ she asked, having not entirely heard him.

‘I can’t,’ Dean repeated, gripping his broom tightly in his hands.  
  
He would just throw their friendship away.  
It would be weird,  
because nobody was gay,  
nobody even talked about it.  
  
He’d make it unnecessarily awkward.  
  
‘Dean,’ Ginny cut through his near anxiety attack, hovering on her broom in front of him. ‘Dean. Be brave.’  
  
Dean looked at her. ‘I _—_ ’  
  
‘Stop,’ Ginny interrupted him. ‘Don’t think too much about it. Don’t talk yourself out of it. Don’t even talk to me about it. Just go.’

Before he’d fully registered that he was taking her advice, his feet were touching the ground,  
and then he was walking back towards the castle.  
  
Seamus would probably be near Hagrid’s hut.  
  
His heart pounded just as wildly as his feet on the ground as he started running,  
not bothering changing out of his gear.  
  
❆

He saw Seamus walking the last couple of metres towards Hagrid’s Hut.  
  
‘Seamus!’ he called out, nearly breathless from running the entire way.

Seamus turned around in surprise, and waited for him to catch up.

‘Mate, have you been running?’

‘Yeah,’ Dean wheezed.

‘With a broom in yer hand?’

Oh.  
Dean looked at it.  
He had.

‘I,’ he panted. ‘I wanted to talk to you.’

‘Oh, okay. What’s the matter?’

Just like every other time when they were alone together,  
Dean suddenly found his throat to be extremely dry,  
and he tried to swallow away the nerves that were nearly choking him.

Of course his hands were as clammy as they could get,  
and he had to tighten his grip on the broom to avoid dropping it.

He couldn’t,  
he thought nervously  
as Seamus’ hazel eyes looked curiously at him.

‘Do you,’ Dean began, and nearly gave up.  
  
But wouldn’t it just be like getting on a broom for the first time?  
Extremely uncomfortable and scary, but once you’re out there,  
it would be okay, right?

‘Do you,’ he repeated, clenching his hands to stop them from shaking. ‘Do you want to go to the ball with me?’

Seamus blinked in surprise.

‘What? Mate, that’s what you’ve been worried about?’

‘No, I _—_ ’

‘Don’t worry,’ Seamus smiled reassuringly. ‘Lavender said yes.’

This wasn’t the same as knocking over a glass of water over a finished drawing.  
This was throwing away all his pencils,  
all his brushes,  
his paint,  
his sketchbook.

Tears  
burned  
behind his eyes,  
and he blinked furiously to keep them in.

Seamus’ smile disappeared slowly.

And with it, Dean’s opportunity to laugh it off,  
to pretend it had been a last ditch effort like Harry had proposed to Ron.

But that would be even worse than being rejected.  
Seamus wasn’t Dean’s last ditch effort.  
He was his first, and only, choice.

‘Dean?’ Seamus said uncertainly.

Dean shook his head,  
and there they were, the tears.

He wiped them away.

‘It’s okay,’ he tried to smile, but it wobbled and didn’t feel really natural. ‘I’ll ask someone else.’

He took a step back, holding onto his broom for dear life,  
then remembered he could fly back if he wanted to.

‘Dean?’ Seamus asked again, voice small. ‘W-were you serious?’

‘Yeah,’ Dean said in a shaky voice, still trying his best to smile like Seamus would have.  
Smiling like he was certain this wouldn’t change anything.  
  
He chanced a look over his shoulders,  
and saw Seamus’ shocked expression.

Ouch.

Dean got onto his broom  
and flew back to the castle.

He didn’t remember walking to the common room,  
nor crawling through the portrait  
or falling on his bed,  
but he was sure he would always remember  
‘ _That’s what you’ve been worried about?’_ _  
_ _  
_ _‘Lavender said yes.’_

 _‘Were you serious?’_ _  
_ _  
_ ❆

Dean pretended to be asleep when everyone entered their dormitory,  
quickly wiping away his tears.  
  
They were changing silently into their pyjamas,  
but the silence felt tense,  
even to Dean.

‘Is it awkward if I say I got a date for the ball?’ Neville broke the silence. _  
_ _  
_ ‘Yeah,’ Harry said.

‘I’m sorry,’ Neville said, falling silent for a few minutes before continuing. ‘I’m sure you’ll get a date, Ron. Even if Fleur didn’t wan-’

‘Neville,’ Harry said. ‘I’m glad Ginny said yes.’

‘Yeah,’ Neville said, and it sounded like he was smiling.

Good for them both,  
Dean thought.

But he couldn’t help feeling a little jealous.

Suddenly, he heard Seamus’ footsteps walking quietly towards his bed.

Dean did his best not to tense  
or to show that he was awake.  
  
‘Dean?’ Seamus whispered.

He didn’t want to talk right now,  
especially not when he felt another tear roll down his cheek.

He heard Seamus suck in a deep breath.

There was no pretending that he was asleep anymore, was there?

Dean opened his eyes,  
only to yell and startle back as he was nearly nose to nose with Seamus,  
who also had his eyes closed?

Luckily the beds at Hogwarts weren’t so small that Dean fell off,  
but it was a close call.

‘What are you doing?’ he said in shock. ‘Why were your eyes closed?’

Seamus turned a bright red,  
which Dean hated right now  
as he’d always thought Seamus looked unfairly cute when he blushed.

‘I was just blinking!’ Seamus yelled back.  
  
‘What’s going on?’ Ron asked, sounding right miserable.

‘What’s going on with you?’ Dean asked in surprise.

‘Fleur rejected him,’ Neville said.

‘Thanks Neville,’ Harry quickly said.

‘In front of a bunch of pretty Beauxbatons girls,’ Neville added.

‘ _Thanks_ Neville,’ Harry said pointedly.

‘Oh, and Harry was rejected by Cho.’

Harry sighed.

Oh.  
  
‘Guess I’m not the only one with a shitty day,’ Dean said before he could  
really  
think about what he’d just said.

Seamus made a troubled noise beside him.

‘Yeah?’ Neville asked. ‘Want to talk about it?’

‘No, thanks,’ Dean smiled a little, as Harry started frantically shaking his head. ‘And I’m sorry, Ron. Harry.’

‘Dean,’ Seamus said,  
and immediately, Dean’s smile fell as he remembered

_Were you serious?_

Without looking at Seamus, Dean lied down again. ‘I’m going to sleep, okay?’

‘Night,’ Harry and Neville said.

Seamus said nothing.

After a few minutes, Dean reluctantly turned around,  
for the sake of normalcy  
for the sake of best friends  
and said,  
‘Goodnight Seamus.’

Seamus didn’t smile as he said,  
‘Night Dean.’

❆

The next morning was surprisingly uneventful,  
aside from the fact that their breakfast conversation was just that bit awkward.  
  
Dean had taken his sketchbook with him so he’d have something else to do instead of looking at Seamus  
and hearing his words echoing in his mind.  
  
‘I could maybe ask the Patil sisters,’ Harry mused, pushing his breakfast sausage around on his plate with his fork.

‘You’d be lucky,’ Dean said. ‘They are the prettiest girls in our year.’

Harry slumped in his seat. ‘Oh.’  
  
‘You think so?’ Seamus asked suddenly.

Dean forced himself to keep his eyes on his sketchbook as he replied, ‘Yeah.’

But Seamus wasn’t giving up. ‘Why didn’t you ask them then?’

Dean wasn’t one to get angry very quickly,  
but this sounded like such a stupid question,  
such a cowardly way of fixing this problem  
that he looked at Seamus and asked,  
‘Would that have helped?’  
  
Though Seamus didn’t look guilty,  
he still dropped his gaze, not meeting Dean’s eyes.  
  
‘Helped with what?’ Ron asked.

The silence that followed was awkward.  
  
Dean knew the longer it lasted,  
the more suspicious it would be.  
  
‘With the Skrewts,’ Dean eventually said.

‘Huh?’ Ron asked, but he was already helping himself to another piece of toast, so Dean figured they’d got off the hook this time.

‘If you want to help,’ Neville piped up. ‘You can take my shift this evening.’  
  
Definitely no _—_ ‘Yeah, thanks Neville,’ Seamus said, before Dean could decline.  
  
‘I don’t know,’ Dean still tried. ‘I have a lot of herbology homework.’

Hermione’s head shot up. ‘What? No, we haven’t.’  
  
‘Oh great,’ Neville smiled. ‘This really helps, now I can practice my dancing. Thanks guys. I’ll tell Hagrid you’re taking over.’

It definitely wasn’t Dean’s first choice,  
but it wouldn’t be so bad, would it?

❆  
  
Still,  
Dean left the castle at the last possible moment,  
his feet dragging as they took him to Hagrid’s hut.  
  
It was snowing softly outside,  
and Dean shivered as he looked back at the castle, where it would definitely be warmer than out here.

Well, at least his hands weren’t cold.  
  
He looked at his stripey gloves and sighed.  
  
They were the only gloves he had right now  
but,  
it wasn’t like Dean didn’t want to be friends with Seamus.  
He didn’t dislike the gloves.

Getting closer and closer to the hut,  
Dean saw that Seamus was already waiting for him, leaning against the fence.  
  
When Seamus spotted him,  
he waved,  
and all Dean could see were the stripey gloves on his hands.

His heart skipped a beat,  
and in that moment  
he decided he was just going to forget all about his awkward attempt at them being  
more,  
and focus on just being best friends.  
  
‘Hey Seamus,’ he said, gathering all his courage to look at him.  
  
Seamus’ nose was already a bit red from the cold.  
It looked cute.

‘Hey Dean,’ Seamus said, an unsure smile on his face.  
  
Dean returned it,  
then rubbed his hands together.  
  
‘So, show me what we need to do.’

If only someone would show them what to do,  
Dean thought.

‘Well, uh,’ Seamus started, ‘We need to put on these gloves and boots so the Skrewts don’t go biting or blasting us.’  
  
Dean picked up the sturdy looking gloves while Seamus continued,  
‘And then we need to scoop some food in those buckets, and just dump it in their bowls before they can harm us.’

‘Wow.’

‘Yeah,’ Seamus laughed, putting on his boots. ‘It’s no piece of cake.’

Putting the buckets in front of Dean, Seamus pointed to where the food was stored.  
‘Tell you what, I’ll climb over the fence while you fill those buckets, then you hand ‘em to me before climbing over too.’  
  
‘Sure,’ Dean agreed, walking towards the heap of grossness and scooping the two buckets full.  
  
When he returned, Seamus was still standing in front of the fence.  
The wrong side of the fence.

Dean looked at him curiously,  
and Seamus startled a little, his cheeks reddening as he said awkwardly,  
‘Sorry, could you help me over it?’

The corners of Dean’s mouth twitched,  
but he dutifully put the buckets down and moved in front of Seamus.  
  
‘Put your hands on my shoulders,’ he instructed Seamus. ‘It’s easier.’

Seamus nodded,  
a small blush still on his cheeks as he put both his hands on Dean’s shoulders.  
  
Dean refused to feel awkward or nervous about this.  
Best friends,  
he repeated to himself,  
as he put his hands underneath Seamus’ arms and braced himself.  
  
There was a sort of determined look in Seamus’ eyes  
as he stared at Dean,  
who bent his knees to lift Seamus up when-  
‘Wait! We have to be closer to the fence.’

To Dean it looked like they were already pretty close,  
but he wasn’t the one being lifted into a Skrewt’s home,  
so he straightened again  
and let Seamus pull him forward.  
  
Almost like they were dancing.

‘Better?’ Dean asked when they were standing closer, Seamus nearly pressed against the fence.  
  
‘Yeah,’ Seamus nodded,  
and Dean wondered why Seamus was still blushing  
because the falling snowflakes around them proved that it sure as hell wasn’t  
warm  
when Seamus pulled him forward with a strength that caught Dean off guard,  
causing him to stumble forward  
at the same time that Seamus moved to stand on tippy-toes,  
and  
pressed their lips together.  
  
Dean’s heart stopped  
as he registered that Seamus was  
kissing  
him.  
  
He noticed Seamus’ lips were cold.

Then Seamus leaned back,  
eyes bright and uncertain.  
  
A few snowflakes fell against Dean’s heated cheeks  
as he tried to process what had just happened.  
  
‘I, uh,’ he said intelligently.  
He sounded hoarse, so he cleared his throat awkwardly.  
  
‘Sorry,’ Seamus said, ‘But d’you mind lifting me over the fence? It’s feckin’ cold and I want to get this done.’

Dean blinked,  
still in shock,  
but obligingly bent his knees and lifted Seamus over the fence,  
then handing him the buckets.  
  
Only when Seamus had already filled two bowls, did Dean remember that he was supposed to be helping.

‘Do you need me?’ he asked belatedly.

Seamus laughed.  
‘Yeah, but not right now.’

The answer startled Dean.

‘O-oh.’

When all the Skrewts’ bowls were filled,  Seamus handed him back the buckets and lifted his arms again, smiling apologetically at him.

‘Sorry for making you lift me.’

‘No, uh, no problem,’ Dean said, helping Seamus over the fence again. ‘More training…’ he trailed off, not sure what he was supposed to say or do now.  
  
He knew he kind of wanted to kiss Seamus again.  
He knew he kind of wanted to know  
what the hell had just happened.  
  
❆

They didn’t talk about it on the way back to the castle,  
and when they entered the common room,  
Ron immediately waved them over.  
  
‘Guess who got dates?’ he grinned.

‘No way mate!’ Seamus laughed, clapping Ron on the back. ‘Congratulations!’

‘Yeah, Harry asked the Patil twins and they were _delighted_ to go with us,’ Ron bragged.

‘They didn’t exactly say that,’ Harry muttered, but Ron ignored him.

‘It’s great. And our dates are like the best of friends, aren’t they?’

‘Yes,’ Hermione sighed from the comfortable armchair near the fireplace. ‘Lavender and Parvati are best friends.’

Dean glanced at Seamus beside him,  
but Seamus’ smile didn’t falter.  
  
He also didn’t say anything.

And Dean didn’t want to be a witness to this,  
so he said,  
‘I’m going to bed early today. Night guys.’  
then walked quickly up the stairs.  
  
He’d barely closed the door behind him before he could hear quick, light footsteps coming closer,  
and then Seamus burst through the door.

‘Dean,’ he said. ‘Wait, don’t-’

Dean sat down on his bed.  
‘Don’t what?’

Seamus fidgeted nervously,  
hands pulling at his sleeves.

‘Ah shite,’ Seamus said, taking two big steps to stand in front of Dean. ‘I wanted to do this right, y’know?’

‘Right?’

‘Yeah, well, um,’ Seamus looked shyly at Dean. ‘D’you still want to take me? To the ball?’

Dean blinked up at Seamus.

A whole swarm of butterflies was currently taking flight inside his stomach,  
as he watched the red on Seamus’ cheeks spread,  
as he watched Seamus’ bite his lip nervously.

‘Yeah,’ he said quietly.

Seamus sighed in relief.  
‘If you want, you can ask me again.’

Despite the nerves  
and the clammy hands  
Dean laughed.

‘What?’

Seamus pulled at his sleeves again,  
looking like a freckled ball of nerves  
as he confessed,  
‘To do it officially, y’know.’

But.  
Dean reached out and grabbed Seamus’ hand before he could ruin his jumper.

‘What about Lavender?’

‘I told her the truth.’

‘The truth?’

Seamus nodded,  
looking shyly at their hands before  
intertwining  
their fingers.

‘Yeah, ‘bout how I was being thick, thinking I couldn’t go with you an’ asking her instead. And about you asking me, and how I really wanted to go with you.’

Dean’s throat felt dry.  
‘You do?’  
  
‘I do,’ Seamus looked up again, smiling shyly. ‘So ask me again, mate.’

It was ridiculous that he was, again, getting nervous about this  
but Dean guessed it could be the fact that for the past three weeks  
those dreaded words had haunted him every moment he’d been alone with Seamus.  
  
Officially.  
Okay.

Dean stood up,  
causing Seamus to look up at him with hopeful eyes.  
  
‘Seamus,’ Dean started.

‘Yeah?’

‘Ssh,’ Dean said. ‘Let me get the words out.’

‘Sorry,’ Seamus whispered, but he couldn’t keep in his giggle.

‘Seamus,’ Dean repeated again,  
feeling his own lips curve upwards as he saw Seamus bite his lip to stop himself from laughing or saying yeah again.

‘Do you want to go to the ball with me?’

If Dean had thought that Seamus could’ve answered him seriously,  
he’d been a fool.

Of course there was a large, bright smile on Seamus’ face as he said,  
‘I’d love to, mate.’  
  
Dean laughed too.  
‘It’s a bit weird when you call me mate.’

‘Uh, okay. We can try again.’

‘Mmm,’ Dean hummed, tugging on their intertwined hands,  
pulling Seamus closer. ‘Do you just want me to ask you over and over again?’

There was a mischievous glint in Seamus’ eyes.

‘Maybe.’

They were standing even closer than they’d been outside near Hagrid’s  
and Dean knew he could kiss Seamus if he wanted to.

Seamus was looking at him like that was the best possible idea ever,  
his smile disappearing as he  
slowly  
leaned in.

Crap, Dean thought, closing his eyes.  
  
This was the second time he didn’t initiate their kiss.

But when Seamus’ lips touched his again,  
this time so much warmer,  
Dean didn’t simply stand there like he had outside.  
  
Instead he wrapped his arms around Seamus  
and pulled their bodies flush against each other.

Seamus made a little noise in the back of his throat that made Dean’s cheeks heat up.

Their lips were moving slowly and brilliantly together,  
and Seamus tried to pull Dean closer,  
deeper, into their kiss  
but it nearly caused Dean’s back to break in two.

Seamus made a sound of frustration as he pulled back.

‘I liked it better when you were sitting on the bed,’ he said, sounding breathless.

Dean’s eyes dropped to Seamus’ lips,  
which were slightly pink from their kissing,  
and that did things to Dean’s stomach and-  
he quickly sat down on the bed.

Seamus immediately moved in between his legs,  
kissing Dean with an enthusiasm that was purely Seamus.

It was amazing.

The feeling of kissing Seamus  
made Dean’s heart stutter and pound wildly in his chest  
and sure, his hands were extremely clammy,  
but that didn’t bother them as he used them to tug Seamus even closer,  
and in response Seamus climbed on the bed,  
nearly sitting in Dean’s lap.

Dean groaned into their kiss,  
hands gripping Seamus’ hips,  
and suddenly Seamus leaned back,  
hair wild,  
lips pink and  
his cheeks, and the tips of his ears, red.  
  
What struck Dean the most however,  
was the look of awe and adoration in Seamus’ hazel eyes.

‘I’m so-’ Seamus started,  
but then the door to their dormitory flew open  
startling them both so badly that when Seamus lurched back, Dean didn’t have a good hold of him  
and so with a _thump  
_ Seamus fell on the ground.

‘Oh! You okay?’ Neville asked.

Panting  
from shock and  
something else  
Dean looked wide-eyed at Neville.

What had he seen?

From the casual way Neville helped Seamus up again,  
Dean guessed nothing much.

‘Thanks,’ Seamus said, still sounding a little breathless.

It made Dean’s blood heat up to know  
_why_.

When Neville walked towards his own bed,  
Dean shot Seamus an awkward and searching look that silently asked  
_you okay?_

Seamus’ answering smile was adorable,  
and told him  
_more than okay._

Adjusting himself in his pants, Dean decided to just put on some pyjamas.  
After changing he’d finally cooled down enough to look at Seamus without wanting to pull him close and kiss him.  
  
‘Good night,’ he said, smiling at Seamus as he got under the covers.  
‘Night,’ Seamus smiled back.

‘Night,’ Neville said.

They turned off the lights.

It would be impossible to fall asleep right now,  
Dean thought  
squeezing his pillow tightly  
and wanting to shout with jo-

‘Oh,’ Neville said suddenly. ‘Sorry for interrupting you.’

A choked off sound  
escaped Dean’s throat  
and for a while nobody said anything.

Then Seamus started laughing.

❆

‘Would you look at that!’ Seamus exclaimed, grabbing Dean’s hand and pulling him towards a store called Zonko’s Joke Shop.  
  
The windows were full of items that looked like they’d pull your leg whenever you turned around.  
  
‘Dungbombs?’ Seamus said in awe, pressing his hands and nose against the glass to take a better look.

It caused him to drop Dean’s hand,  
and though Dean was disappointed,  
he got to see Seamus’ squished happy face,  
so it was a good consolation prize.  
  
‘We can go inside if you want,’ Dean proposed.

Seamus turned around to say something, but his eye fell on another store behind Dean, and  
there it was again,  
Seamus’ hand grabbing his tightly,  
pulling him towards a sweets shop called Honeydukes.

‘No way,’ Seamus looked at the display through the windows. ‘I definitely want to go in here!’  
  
Like Dean was about to say no to going inside a _sweets shop_.

They browsed the store for nearly half an hour, with Dean picking up every item to look at what it was.  
  
He’d thought that after two years, he had learned a lot about the Wizarding World, but almost all the sweets were unfamiliar to him.  
  
Well, apart from those.  
  
Dean eyed the package of exploding bonbons, then quickly looked for Seamus, who was across the store from him, before grabbing the bonbons and sneaking towards the counter.  
  
Quickly throwing some money on the counter, Dean hid the chocolate in his jacket then motioned to Seamus that he was going to wait outside.  
  
It wasn’t too cold yet.  
Dean curiously looked in a few shop windows while waiting for Seamus,  
who announced his return by shouting,  
‘Dean!’  
  
Dean turned around, trying to hide that he’d startled pretty badly.

‘Did you buy anything?’ he asked.

‘Yeah, yeah,’ Seamus smiled excitedly, hopping on his legs, before thrusting a small box in Dean’s hands. ‘Here!’  
  
Looking down at the red box, Dean saw it contained a sugar quill.  
His favourite type of candy.

‘Thanks,’ he smiled, and quickly pulled the exploding bonbons from his pocket, handing them to Seamus.

Seamus’ smile was excited as he exclaimed,  
‘Exploding bonbons! My favourite!’  
  
Well.  
That’s why Dean had bought them.

Was that also why Seamus had bought the sugar quill?  
  
It was almost like  
‘A date,’ he said unthinkingly.

‘What?’  
Seamus looked up at him with wide eyes.  
  
‘Oh nothing,’ Dean said a little awkwardly, feeling his hands starting to get clammy.  
  
Of course he’d love to go on a date with Seamus  
but-

‘A date?’ Seamus pressed, looking at him curiously.

‘Yeah, kind of. You usually buy your date some chocolate or candy,’ Dean explained.

‘Really?’

Dean nodded.  
‘Don’t wizards do that?’ he asked.

‘No, they don’t,’ Seamus said, his hands tightening on the box of bonbons.

‘So what else do muggles do?’

The conversation was getting into safe territory again,  
so Dean felt comfortable enough to start walking.

Okay, and also because he wouldn’t have to look at Seamus’ beautiful face while explaining how a date would go.  
  
Still  
a blush stubbornly heated his cheeks as he explained,  
‘They also bring flowers. Or well, I guess the boy does.’

Seamus listened intently as they walked past a clothing store called Gladrags Wizardwear, which boasted an assortment of formal wizard robes in its windows.  
  
Dean pointed at them.  
‘And I guess you dress up nicely. Almost formal.’

Seamus looked at the robes.  
‘Really?’

Dean laughed at his surprise.

Though he sometimes felt like an outsider in the Wizard World,  
Seamus was also an outsider, in the Muggle world.  
  
It was kind of adorable.  
  
‘So,’ Seamus said slowly. ‘You get chocolate, flowers and fancy robes, yeah?’

‘That’s about right.’

‘Sounds like a lot of work, if ye ask me.’

Dean burst out laughing.  
  
‘Maybe,’ he laughed,  
looking up at Seamus,  
who was still looking at him in a sort of awed surprise.  
‘I think it’s romantic though.’

‘Maybe someday, mate,’ Seamus grinned.

❆

Yeah, okay.  
So maybe Dean was extremely nervous.  
  
He was man enough to admit that to himself,  
as he stood in front of the bathroom mirror and looked at his simple wizard robes that resembled a dark blue muggle suit an awful lot.  
  
Through the closed bathroom door he could hear Ron muttering and whining about his wizard robes.

Dean took a deep breath.

No need to be nervous, he told himself,  
but he was  
extremely  
nervous about what Seamus was going to think.

For a split second, Dean worried that their kissing had been a fluke  
a try-out  
and that when he’d walk down the stairs, Seamus would take one look at him and go,  
nah.

But.  
Too late to do anything about it now, right?

Dean straightened,  
tugged on his jacket one last time  
and headed out.

‘Good luck, Ron,’ he said.

Ron turned around in near desperation.  
‘Why do you look so fit?’ he asked accusatory.

‘Sorry,’ Dean winced sympathetically. ‘But I  wanted to look good for my date tonight.’

His heart beat faster in his chest as he prepared himself to tell Ron _who_ his date was.

‘Yeah, well, you have fun with Seamus,’ Ron said weakly, turning around to fuss over his dress robe again.

Oh.  
That was easy.

Dean walked out the dormitory only to nearly bump into Harry.

‘Oh, sorry, Harry,’ he said, then added, ‘Maybe you can cheer Ron up. He’s a bit down about his robes.’

Harry winced.  
‘Yeah, I saw them during breakfast. Oh and hey, have fun tonight, Dean.’

Dean nodded then quickly walked through the Gryffindor common room,  
out of the portrait,  
and towards the Great Hall.

His hands were already clammy.  
Had been from the moment he’d laid out his dress robes on his bed to put them on.

Getting closer, Dean could hear murmurs, laughter,  
music  
and the pounding of his own heart.  
  
Okay, here we go,  
he thought as he turned around the corner and immediately marched on, not wanting to stand there and awkwardly search for Seamus.

Walking quickly down the stairs,  
watching his new leather shoes taking the steps nearly two at a time  
he saw another pair of obviously new dress shoes walking towards him.

Dean looked up  
and saw Seamus,  
Seamus in a fitted black suit,  
oh boy,  
stopping a few metres in front of him.  
  
‘Mate,’ Seamus said, looking at Dean from his new shoes to his best effort at doing his hair all nice.  ‘You look amazing.’  
  
Dean sighed in relief,  
but his breath immediately caught in his throat as Seamus took a step closer,  
looking all awkward and blushy and handsome and adorable-  
Easy there, Dean,  
and with the same awkwardness he’d once thrust the sugar quill in Dean’s hands,  
held a bouquet of wildflowers up in front of him.  
  
Dean blinked in surprise.  
‘W-what,’ he stammered, then tried again. ‘What?’

‘Flowers,’ Seamus said, blushing. ‘For you. Me date.’

Dean felt his cheeks heat up as he looked in stunned silence at the flowers.  
Felt his heart jump in his chest with joy.

‘No?’ Seamus asked, suddenly sounding very insecure. ‘You don’t like-’

‘I love it,’ Dean smiled, and took the flowers from him.

Immediately, a bright and relieved smile made its way on Seamus’ freckled face, his hazel eyes staring happily into Dean’s.

‘Shall we then?’ Seamus said, holding out his arm.

Dean laughed.  
‘Are you an expert now?’  
but he took Seamus’ arm  
and happily let himself be escorted into the Great Hall.  
  
‘Well, I no mean to brag,’ Seamus grinned. ‘But I reckon this counts as a pretty good first date, right? Got the fancy clothes an’ all.’

Dean looked down at him.  
‘Where’s the chocolates then?’

‘Yeah…’ Seamus pretended to look pained. ‘Might’ve eaten those.’

Dean laughed out loud,  
barely noticing they were supposed to be watching Harry dance,  
having only eyes and ears for Seamus.  
Like that was anything new.

‘Oh,’ Seamus perked up, ‘Think it’s time for us. So... Want to dance with me?’

Throat suddenly dry,  
because finally, after nearly four years,  
Dean got to dance with Seamus,  
got to be more  
than best friends,  
he only managed to nod silently.

Though Seamus grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the dancefloor,  
it was really his bright and happy smile that made Dean follow him.  
Everywhere, he thought.

Without being asked to,  
Seamus put one hand on Dean’s shoulder, still holding Dean’s hand in his other.  
  
Dean put his hand on Seamus’ hip  
and then  
they were slowly dancing.

‘Oh god,’ Dean mumbled.

Seamus, who had previously been looking in awe at their moving feet, now looked up in surprise.  
‘What?’  
  
‘I forgot about… the others,’ Dean said, only now realizing they were dancing in front of  
everyone else.

Seamus frowned.  
‘Others? Did you promised to dance with others?’

Huh?  
Dean frowned too.  
  
‘What? No. I mean,’ he looked at the people standing around the dance floor. ‘We’re dancing in front of nearly everyone.’

Seamus bit his lip,  
something he normally did when he was nervous or trying to keep his laughter in,  
but his eyes stayed focused on Dean.

‘I know,’ he said. ‘But mate. We held hands an’ all that in front of everyone too. An’ I kinda been telling everyone how fit you are, mate. Reckon it sounded a bit gay.’

Dean gaped at Seamus.

‘You did what?’

Seamus blushed a little, but his answering grin was without shame.  
‘C’mon. Have you seen yerself?’

Blushing as well,  
Dean ducked his head to avoid Seamus’ appreciative gaze.

‘So, I reckon,’ Seamus said quietly.  
Maybe a little nervously.  
‘We could kiss in front of ‘em, too…’

‘That would certainly erase all doubts,’ Dean muttered,  
but he tentatively looked up at Seamus.

It was a given opportunity,  
he thought  
to kiss Seamus Finnigan,  
and he sure as hell wasn’t wasting it.

‘Alright,’ he said.

Smiling, Seamus closed his eyes.

‘I’m ready, mate.’

‘Still weird when you call me mate,’ Dean muttered, but he closed his eyes too  
and leaned forward,  
finally initiating their third kiss.

Seamus’ hand let go of his  
only to wrap both his arms around Dean’s neck,  
pulling him closer into their kiss  
and sighing happily as Dean obliged.

It was the best consolation prize.

Eventually,  
Dean had to force himself to lean back if they didn’t want a repeat of their last kiss.  
His body still remembered it fondly.

Seamus’ arms around his neck refused to let him lean too far back however.

‘Awesome,’ Seamus smiled happily up at Dean.  
‘I’m so in love with you, y’know?’

Dean nearly choked on air.  
  
‘I- m-’ he stammered. ‘You are?’

‘Don’t be surprised. And yer supposed to say it back, y’know?’

‘Are you going to make me repeat it over and over again?’

Seamus grinned.  
‘You bet yer arse I am.’

Dean smiled.  
‘I’m in love with you, Seamus.’

The smile that spread on Seamus’ face was unlike any other Dean had ever seen,  
and he’d thought he’d seen them all,  
watching Seamus for nearly four years.  
  
But this smile was like an explosion,  
unstoppable  
intense in its brightness  
and unable to look away from.

Until Seamus sighed,  
‘I think my heart just stopped, mate.’  
and Dean burst out laughing.

❆

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you SO much for reading!! <3  
> Please let me know what you thought, about the characters, the story etc! :D  
> I would love to know :)
> 
> EDIT: the lovely cass-act made fanart based on my story!! Check it out [HERE](http://cass-act.tumblr.com/post/167915207562/mate-shouldve-taken-gloves-hnnngg-cant-get-this)


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